From 3^rd January I’ve (rather tragically!) been noting down when my buses and trains should have been departing and at what time they actually do. I just wanted to see how much time, money and effort I waste each and every day hanging around for companies who seem largely disinterested in my custom. So what did I find? Well I’ll elaborate shortly, but please note Metrolink fans, I left our erstwhile tram operator friends out of this because I still fail to figure out what, if any, sort of timetable they run to. Needless to say over the course of the past few weeks, they’ve been their usual inconsistent mess of broken down units, overcrowding and lack of information about when the next one might bother turning up. But I digress…

As it's 2012 you'd have thought we'd be travelling around like this...

I tend to follow a similar routine each day, getting a bus to Stalybridge then a train into Manchester. If I drop lucky with times I can do this pretty quickly, although it currently costs me £160 a month to do so. My bus is a First Bus one (I don’t have a choice in this matter, it’s the only one that runs near me) and they’re one an hour. The trains are pretty frequent to Manchester Piccadilly and Victoria, but I need to get a tram back out of town so the First TransPennine Express Piccadilly ones tend to be preferable.

Over the course of 13 days, I have had the dubious pleasure of taking 22 trips via First Bus, 21 via First TransPennine Express, and two via Northern Rail. In this time I have spent a total of 164 minutes or two hours, 44 minutes waiting for late public transport.  And this is just in a two week period. That’s about 13 minutes per day on average. By far the worst offenders were First Bus who were late by 112 mins, averaging just over five minutes per bus (in fact, every single one of those were late by at least one minute, the worst one being delayed by 18 minutes). First TransPennine were a bit of a mixed bag averaging two and a half minutes of lateness per journey but this was largely due to the morning train being late 10 out of 11 times. The evening one seems generally okay with an on time percentage of about 70%.

So, rough maths time. If I take the bus, on average, 10 times a week over a year (taking off weekends) minus eight bank holidays (-16 trips) and my 25 days holiday (-50 trips)…we’re still looking at First Bus causing me to get angry because they’re not there for at least 38 hours over the course of a year. That to me is a hell of a lot. That’s a day and a half of me shuffling about on bus stops looking angry; not a sight I’d really wish upon anyone. TransPennine only make me lose 19 hours of my life per year, but in total, that is 57 hours between the two companies. That’s a lot of missed Call Of Duty time right there.

...rather than in these 80s monstrosities.

I always give myself plenty (probably too much) time to get anywhere as I hate being late, so it’s one of the reasons why I really struggle to get on with public transport companies and their ideas of being on time. Surely, if their transport is consistently late by a certain amount of time (my morning TransPennine Express is nigh-on guaranteed to be bang on five minutes late every day; they probably blame the preceding Northern Rail), why not just change the timetable permanently? If the bus takes longer than expected in rush hour, why not stretch that timetable a little and then at least people will know what to expect? If I was that late that often for my job, well, I wouldn’t expect to still be employed.

But maybe that is the problem; that I do still employ them to take me to places. Many people ask me why I don’t just drive and there are six reasons for that: 1) It’d probably cost more. 2) Sometimes it would probably take longer. 3) I’d probably hate other drivers even more than other commuters. 4) I wouldn’t be able to have a drink. 5) I can’t tweet/play Word With Friends/arse around on my phone whilst driving. 6) I shouldn’t have to put myself out due to the failings of a crumbling public transport infrastructure.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if bus and train staff had a few more manners and a sense of common decency. Often, the bus I get in the evening has a driver change over before setting off and the other night, the driver got on to do his pre-flight checks whilst smoking a roll up INSIDE HIS CAB. Hang on, don’t passengers get fined for that? Double standards. Also, there’s never an apology or reason for lateness given, just a nod when you show your ticket, maybe a “morning” if you’re lucky. Come on guys, it’s not hard to acknowledge those who are paying your wages. If you don’t like your job that much, maybe get another one?

Going back to money, do I think that my £160 a month is well spent? Don’t get me wrong, there have been a few good improvements made since I started doing the public transport ‘thing’ all those years ago. Stalybridge and Manchester Piccadilly stations are now both great facilities, albeit ones run by TransPennine Express. Their newer trains are also brilliant, clean and bright compared to the purple muck wagons of a few years ago. Unfortunately, this investment is few and far between across the rest of the public transport network. First Buses tend to have a destination board and number on the front illuminated by what could only be a very bad at his job  firefly, with passengers often unable to see where on earth the thing is going until it’s nearly run you over. That is if they’ve bothered to put a destination up on the board at all. Once, I let one pass as I presumed it was out of service, only to see my bus number on the back of the thing after it had driven past. Needless to say, I wasn’t best pleased.

I’ve also witnessed bus drivers drive past people waving their hands at the roadside, and they’re pretty good at nattering to their driver chums whilst driving, hitting kerbs, or listening to music instead of focusing on the basics, such as getting from A to B, safely and on time.

As for Northern Rail, where do I start? I’ve written about them before, and fortunately I don’t have to use them that much anymore, but when I do, their supposed improvements (even more unreliable 1981 coaches!) simply isn’t good enough in the face of huge hikes in ticket prices. I hear from my Twitter chums (@Loupy2000, @roj_v, @martinsmith and the gang) that things on the commuter pile ups haven’t really improved, and I must admit I don’t miss Northern Rail one bit.

Speaking of Twitter, a cursory look across social media shows the anger that builds towards some of these companies for all manner of reasons. A PR department nightmare perhaps, but I have yet to see any public transport companies in this country actually use this information for the good of the customer. Why not get us in focus groups? You know, we the people who use these various transportation means every day? We may be biased but it’s a great idea-generating opportunity and it’s always better to face up to criticism than ignore it.

My Twitter feed is generally full of (admittedly very amusing) rants from various people talking about public transport. One chap even took it upon himself to set up a fake Northern Rail customer service account (@Not_hernRail) where he would reply to complainants and admit to having rubbish old trains that were never on time and staff that could do with a lesson or two in treating customers fairly. Other Twitter users such as @manc_metrolink, @NTFail, @FirstBusFail and @FarceBus all have accounts dedicated to aggregating public transport feedback, and needless to say, much of it is not very complimentary. To be fair to both @northernrailorg and @TPExpressTrains, they do their best to help in the face of adversity through social media, updating users with service updates and getting into conversations with frustrated commuters, but they can’t do much about the foundation issues: old and late rolling stock and not enough of it to cope with increased demand.

I also must admit that the general commuting public don’t do themselves any favours. People tend not to think about when and why they are travelling, getting the same busy commuter trains as usual on their days off but with loads of additional shopping bags. People get on the Metrolink to go two eminently walkable stops, thus increasing the time it takes to get people on and off and also taking up valuable room on busy vehicles. I’ve also seen some unnecessary abuse given to conductors and other public transport staff just because there is an issue and they’re there at the coalface. The vast majority of the general public are idiots, running late and with incorrect tickets, but even so, they are all there to use a service, and if the service isn’t up to scratch, they’ve still got every right to complain, as long as it goes through the right channels.

I also appreciate that sometimes there are unavoidable issues. Weather can be a problem (although some may argue that we should be more prepared). Copper wire thieves also cause the network to grind to a halt on occasion and I’m not going to hold that against the bus and train companies. I do think though that a lack of investment could have contributed to a lot of these challenges in the first place.

So what does all of this say? Does it just tell us what we already know? Maybe. But I think that it is a little more than that. We grumble and moan and whine on about the whole situation, but we are all probably late most days because of basic public transport infrastructure problems. Shouldn’t we, as their customers, be putting pressure on them to do something about it? Or should these companies actually face facts and admit their failings, promising to spend fare increases not on more services or additional destinations, but on getting the basics right instead? I for one would be happy to pay for that.

Evan Dando and Meredith Sheldon

Following on from my Album of the Year Award, and keeping to the musical theme, next up is the Affs Gig of the Year Award for the best acts to tread the boards throughout the past 12 months. As a 2011 resolution, getting out and about to see more live bands was always going to be an enjoyable one, so it came as a pleasant surprise that so many amazing groups chose to tour in recent months. It truly was an eclectic mix of old favourites that I hadn’t seen in years, bucketlist bands who I was watching for the first time, groups suggested to me by friends, and a few local and random acts thrown in for good measure.

I’ve always been a huge fan of live music so trying to see as wide a variety as possible in 2011 was always the plan. My first ever gig was way back in January 1994. The band? Manic Street Preachers at Bristol Anson Rooms, at a time when the group were nothing short of dangerous but imperious and Richey James was fortunately still with us. I think this event also saw me consume my first ever pint (Fosters, natch) and this double virginity loss really did have a massive impact on my life.

In the years that followed, my friends and I would be ferried about by our parents to venues across the South West, and sometimes we’d brave crossing the Welsh border to Newport Centre, or go on a field trip to Donington to scoff death burgers and get in on some metal festival action. Gigs were cheap (Ash for £5 just as they were on the cusp of greatness) and so was transport (the parents seemed to enjoy it. Maybe).

Eventually though, we went our separate ways to University and I didn’t really hook up with that similar a crowd taste-wise whilst there, so I missed out on a good few years of gigging.

When I then moved to the North West, I didn’t really know too many folk who wanted to attend gigs that veered towards the heavier side of the musical spectrum so I became content in CDs, cinema-going and video games.

Then something just changed. A couple of friends started playing in bands and as soon as I went to various venues to cheer them on, the bug bit back. I loved the mustiness of old man boozers, the creaking, sticky floorboards of venues that should probably be condemned. The whole friendly atmosphere of the scene hadn’t changed that much since I’d been away, only this time, I was hearing this stuff with musically mature ears.

And so here we are taking a look back on 2011, a golden year for live music, and one so crammed full of top quality concerts, it seems churlish not to give a few shout outs. First off I thought I’d throw in a couple of surprise packages. I’m so grateful and lucky to have friends willing to invite me along to new gig experiences, and through them I caught both My Morning Jacket and Twin Atlantic in 2011.

I didn’t really have any idea how big the ‘Jacket were around the globe, but I was truly impressed with their show. Despite some lengthy tunes, they kept an obviously very knowledgeable crowd entertained throughout, and have some serious songwriting skills on display.

Twin Atlantic were pitched to me as “an indie gig” so I was a little surprised at how heavy these guys can get. Both the ‘Jacket and Twin Atlantic seem to have massively strong and supportive fanbases and it reminds me of how things were 20-odd years ago, with perennial live favourites just failing to make it into the mainstream British consciousness. Nevertheless, TA pulled out a stormingly energetic set and I’m going to be looking out for them next time they swing by.

I also got to see some bands in 2011 that I’ve loved for years but never got round to seeing when I was still able to jump around properly, namely Kyuss, Queens of the Stone Age, The Lemonheads, My Dying Bride and The Smashing Pumpkins. The Lemonheads in particular, through being down the front on the barrier and watching them plough through the whole of It’s A Shame About Ray was a true 2011 privilege. Kyuss, QOTSA and the Pumpkins all also proved, despite the line-up changes, that they can still throw down with the best of them and produced three great nights out which left me exhilarated and smiling all the way home.

As far as guilty pleasures go I also managed to nail down two childhood faves this year; Kylie (look, I got some free tickets!) and Roxette. I’d recommend anyone goes to see Kylie simply for the camp spectacle. The little minx put on a great show and I may even have sung along a couple of times. No sequins were harmed in the writing of this blog.

I loved Roxette when I was approaching my teenage years and I will unashamedly say that I also loved every minute of their show at Wembley Arena in 2011. It was great to have them back after a few difficult years, proving beyond doubt that they’ve written some of the greatest pop songs of the past couple of decades.

Special mention should also go to three bands I saw this year (on more than one occasion) who feature among their ranks some good friends of mine. First of all, Latitudes are a great post, well, everything band, with some spiralling sonicscapes that take on more and more meaning as they burrow deeper into your brain. Even in small venues with slightly ropey sound, Latitudes can really crush with their masterful riffing and technique. Definitely one to watch, and a new album in 2012 should see them get the recognition they deserve.

Also getting a commendation for services to live music are Hopes. They’ve only been around for about a year, but they worked their backsides off in 2011, playing all sorts of venues to get their ‘core songs out to the masses, and they were rewarded with a support slot for Feed The Rhino and a glowing mention in Kerrang! because of it. These lads will really shine more and more when given opportunities and they always throw every last ounce of energy and passion into each of their performances. A festival or two in 2012? Here’s Hopes-ing.

Also in this category are Turbowolf. I’ve written before about how brilliant these Bristol good-timers are and through a selection of 2011 gigs they grew in stature before my eyes, culminating in a superb headlining set at Alter Ego. Their album is one of my top picks of last year and surely they must also be en route to a storming 2012.

Three gigs that came very close to breaking into my chart toppers of the year came courtesy of Ash, Trivium and Mark Lanegan & Isobel Campbell. It seemed to be a bit of a 2011 trend that bands were getting back together to perform classic albums in their entirety, and Ash decided to celebrate the tenth anniversary of Free All Angels. It’s not actually an album of theirs that I own but the prospect of seeing the guys again after what must be 16-odd years spurred me on to pop down to the Ritz. I certainly wasn’t disappointed, especially when they banged out an awesome Kung Fu encore. As close to an Affs Happy Place that you can get.

Mark Lanegan & Isobel Campbell would definitely have been in my top three were it not for the venue spoiling things a little. Playing in Manchester Cathedral suited their soulful duets beautifully, but unfortunately, towards the end of the gig a fire alarm was set off by some tramps with a toaster in the Cathedral’s homeless project area. The show was abruptly halted mid-song much to the bemusement of Lanegan, but never restarted and it made for a disappointing trip home. Tickets for Mark and his band are already on the 2012 noticeboard so we’ll see if he can make next year’s podium instead.

Finishing off the chasing pack, and this one was definitely a strong fifth place for the year, came a surprisingly excellent Defenders of the Faith tour. Set up by Metal Hammer as a showcase for the brightest and best in metal both new and old, the gig saw Rise To Remain prove a few points to the masses whilst both Trivium and In Flames showed me what I’d been missing out on by only casting a brief ear to their output in recent years. But it was Ghost who really stole the show for me. Having already heard their incantations on disc, they were even more brilliant, spooky, funny, and, overall, massively entertaining live. Playing the majority of their album helped as each song was so familiar, but even so, as a new band in a big venue, to a big crowd, they performed with absolute skill. I can’t wait for a headline tour from these ghouls in the next 12 months.

Okay, it’s top four time and this has probably been harder to pick than my album of 2011.

Volbeat are a surprise inclusion in this list but a deserved one. The Danish crew have been around for a while, and in all honesty I only bought a ticket for their show because Black Spiders were supporting. Whilst the Spiders were typically brilliant despite a condensed set after some major sound issues, it was Volbeat who really converted me that night. Their latest album, Beyond Hell/Above Heaven is a complex concept CD but still hugely accessible and the amount of clued up fans that night really surprised me but also added massively to the vibe and enjoyment of the show. Volbeat play with a smile on their faces and passion in their sweat-drenched brows which meant they tore out everything that any fan could’ve wished for and more.

A triumphant Black Spiders

There’s a tie for third place, with Affs Album of the Year Award winners Black Spiders drawing with, er, themselves. I really can’t choose between their sets at Bristol and Manchester on their tour with Viking Skull (legends themselves) and Turbowolf. Imagining that this time last year I had never heard anything by Black Spiders seems absolutely alien to me when I think of where these boys are in my life now. The Croft gig in Bristol was sweaty and jam-packed, and the Spiders threw everything into it. When we got home that night, we probably played the album back to back at least three times, reliving the experience over a few beers. Knowing what to expect when they hit Manchester only meant that I enjoyed it even more. I was screaming along with the best of them to Kiss Tried To Kill Me and the Spiders are not going to be playing small-ish venues like the Roadhouse again, believe me.

Not so surprisingly being given the runner-up award is Ginger. I’ve seen the guy on numerous occasions over the years and he never fails to show his love for live music and his fans each and every time. I’m cheating a little as I saw Ginger do both acoustic and electric sets this year but I really can’t choose between them, so I’m going to class them both together as one super set of true awesomeness, and give him the runner-up in Gig of the Year. It’s my Awards, I can do what the hell I like.

Ginger, for those who aren’t aware, is/was the lead singer and guitarist for The Wildhearts, a mid to late 90s band who could often be seen rocking Top Of The Pops when they snuck into the Top 40 by some sort of pop-rock-punk back door. Ginger has put together numerous side-projects over the years and never stops churning out amazingly catchy, quality music supported by a tremendous gaggle of associates. 2012 will also see him release an ambitious Pledge Music project, a triple CD set funded by fans, in aid of both the joy of music but also for Save The Children who will benefit from 10% of funds made. The project is currently over 450% of its target, showing the love people have for this man.

Anyway, let’s talk about Ginger’s live activities. First off, his acoustic show is probably one of the more raucous “stripped down” gigs you’re ever likely to attend. A true singalong with loads of audience banter and an atmosphere more akin to a gathering of friends than a gig. Ginger has the choruses to keep up with the best of them, from the anthemic Geordie In Wonderland through to the classic Loveshit, all of which sounded amazing in an acoustic setting.

As for his Moho Live electric gig, Ginger seemed on even better form, with a huge band and a set list for the ages. The place went absolutely crazy for I Wanna Go Where The People Go, just as they did for Cheers. Who’d have thought that an 80s TV theme tune would’ve featured at my second favourite gig of the year? That’s the power that Ginger possesses, and he thankfully shows few signs of slowing down any time soon.

Terrorvision proving they've still got it

But this year’s winners are Terrorvision. I probably saw these Bradford oiks more times than I’d care to remember between 1994 and 1997, but they always had a special place in my heart. I spotted they were playing Manchester Academy in 2011 and so grabbed the opportunity to go, hoping they weren’t going to play much beyond their first three records, and that it’d be a pleasant enough trip down memory lane. As the gig got closer, I heard about a new CD they’d just put out, but I didn’t buy it in case it was more akin to their later output, of which I was never the biggest of fans.

When I got to the venue, I was glad to see a good selection of old(er) fans, all of whom probably never dreamed they’d be watching the ‘Vision whilst holding down a steady job, but here we all were, ready to neck a few pints and sing along to the classics.

I was also pleased to see that Gentlemans Pistols were supporting. They weren’t a band that I’d heard before, but I knew ex-Carcass legend Bill Steer was spanking his plank for them, so I got down the front early on. And what a great noise those boys made. Tossing out retro-tinged riffs like Sabbath had never gone away, the Pistols made a lot of new fans that night and were the perfect set up for what was to follow.

When Terrorvision hit the stage, grown men were hugging and practically crying with joy at the prospect of these boys strutting their stuff again after all these years. In fact, I dare anyone not to smile when Tony Wright pops on stage and grins like a Cheshire cat eating a particularly enormous piece of cheese, his boyish charm still prevailing in the face of (admittedly not that much more than my) age. Even with Shutty off enjoying his drummer retirement home and new sticksman Cam Greenwood being young enough for the rest of the band to have birthed him themselves, this was a group 157% at the top of their game.

What Terrorvision did that magical night was to throw in new songs alongside old hits like Pretend Best Friend as if all of them came from one SuperCD of pop-rock genius. People were hollering along to the choruses of the new songs like Pushover, embracing them like they were old friends. Sales of the new CD at that gig must have been massive, and I’m proud to say that the album I bought that night has barely left my stereo/generic digital music player since.

The fact that Discotheque Wreck on this night is my favourite single live performance of 2011 says a lot, especially when it had so many rivals for this accolade with Middleman, Enteralterego and Alice, What’s The Matter? all making an appearance during the show. It also says a lot for Terrorvision’s skill as entertainers that these songs sound as fresh and exciting as they did so many years ago.

So, a band that were a live favourite of mine nigh-on 20 years ago are my top tip of this millennia too. Not too surprising you might think? Well, Terrorvision had to work their socks off that night to get everyone, collectively, back into that unique mood, and that is exactly what they did. Well done Terrorvision, one of the great saviours of live music and my Gig of the Year 2011.

First up is the Album of the Year Award. CD sales may be down year on year, but that hasn’t stopped some absolutely storming epics being committed to shiny disc during 2011. After all, what use is the music without the artwork, liner notes, lyrics, extra cardboard and free goblins? I’m a sucker for all that makes a first edition CD truly limited so here’s to the on-going survival of the format.

Anyway, I digress. Onto the important matter of which long players have been on repeat on the Affs death deck in 2011.

It’s been quite a surprisingly good year for tunes. I’ve heard some great new bands whilst some old favourites have churned out new crackers. Here are a few of the contenders who just missed out on the top places, starting with an intriguing album that came from none other than Mr Hugh Laurie.

I’m not usually a fan of blues, but anything that m’colleague does sparks an interest in me, so I was fascinated to hear his CD, Let Them Talk, and I wasn’t disappointed. Laurie has always been a super-talented, self-taught musician and there is obvious passion that prevails throughout his album. From soulful crooning to more up-tempo stomp-alongs, Laurie manages to get people listening to a genre when they wouldn’t normally give it the time of day and for that he should be commended.

A late entry into the Affs hit parade was the new Nightwish album. They’re a funny old band, not everyone’s cup of tea, but I’ve been into them for over a decade so I tend to buy all their output. After Tarja left the group, taking with her the more operatic vocals, I must admit that my interest in their symphonic bombast waned a little, but this year’s Imaginaerum pricked my ears up and got me all kinds of excited all over again. It’s a very textured album, featuring loads of different sounds, from the typical Euro metal of Storytime through to the husky jazz drawl of Slow, Love, Slow. It’s great to see Nightwish realising they can’t keep living on former glories and need to adapt to survive, and they’ve definitely done just that.

Another band that I tend to buy music from but fail to spend the quality time with that I should is Trivium. These young upstarts (still young despite having been around for a good while. Yes I’m jealous), were originally hailed as the new Metallica, and then the emo crowd hooked onto them, but now they’re producing an altogether more mature product. In Waves is full of crowd pleasers (and trust me, the title track and Dusk Dismantled are absolutely epic live), and throughout the pretty lengthy album I was pleasantly surprised with the catchiness and heaviness working so well together.

An honourable mention must also go to another band that I only encountered for the first time in 2011, Gentlemans Pistols. I saw the band supporting Terrorvision and was hugely happy to see Bill Steer, ex-Carcass, up on stage again, knocking out some semi-tongue-in-cheek rawk. Gentlemans Pistols combine a good time feeling with some catchy riffs and decent song writing chops and At Her Majesty’s Pleasure contains tunes that make you feel like you’ve been to bed with them previously on a debauched night involving a bottle of scotch, some dice and a unicorn. Managing to steer away from the obviousness of cheese like Steel Panther, Gentlemans Pistols transport you back to 70s/80s happy, carefree womanising metal and what’s not to like about that, eh girls?

So, we’ve got four treats left at the top of the tree to choose between, and in all honesty it’s tough to pick between the three runners up.

Terrorvision are a band I once adored. They probably even overtook Therapy? at one point in being my favourite band EVER. Their first three albums were pop rock classics but I was turned away from them with their banal crowd pleaser Tequilla. Even so, when they announced a comeback tour, I gave it a go and picked up a copy of their new album Super Delux while I was there. Holy mother of all things that are holy, what a record! The 11 tracks contained within still feature that cheeky Yorkshire wit, but you can tell the band have also grown as songwriters. New drummer Cam Greenwood has somehow replaced the irreplaceable Shutty and with catchy numbers such as Rock Radio and All The Girls Wanna Dance, the band have put Bradford on the map once more.

Rhyming some obscure words, as is standard with any Terrorvision release, the boys came back with one almighty album/tour bang and also worth checking out is the video to Pushover which is delightfully touching and brilliantly funny. I’m already hoping they tour again next year and put out some more musical gems.

Ghost, as their name suggests, were a surprise. In many, many more ways than one. I’d read a bit about them and thought they were going to be gimmicky no-hopers, but thankfully they proved me very wrong indeed with their opus, er, Opus Eponymous. Their shtick, all about being sparkly Satanic bishops and hooded monky-types shouldn’t work, but it does, and it gels brilliantly with their retro, stripped-down early Sabbath-y sound. Elizabeth is mournful but tuneful, whilst Ritual threatens to transport the the Dark Lord right into your ears with its haunting melody. The whole CD simply works in an age when it really shouldn’t and I’m just hoping that the gimmick doesn’t fade before album number two.

Turbowolf are a relatively new band, and still largely unknown, but I’ve been following their progress since last year, after I caught them supporting Dinosaur Pile Up. Their un-categorisable music (PsychedelicSpaceFunkProgMetal?) and energetic live performances saw them garner some well-deserved mainstream music press attention and when their self-titled CD landed at the end of 2011, it really didn’t disappoint one bit.

Older songs such as Seven Severed Heads and Ancient Snake burrow into your brain with their punk attitude and rock and roll swagger, whilst the singles A Rose For The Crows and Read & Write are live classics already with their jagged soundscapes and insane raw intensity.

The Turbowolf CD is very nearly my album of the year simply due to how fresh and new the whole thing feels, but the award goes to someone who I only got to see as they were headlining over the ‘Wolf in Bristol…

And it’s Black Spiders who have won the day. Their album, Sons of the North absolutely blew me away when I first gave it a spin, and it still does the same now, months on. I saw the band live a good few times this year too, and each time they rocked and rolled their way to converting more and more new fans. I was pleased to discover that I wasn’t the only one in on the Spiders phenomenon, one of my friends was already a fan and came to a show with me along with a few others, and in the majority they looked pretty damn pleased to be there too.

The sign of a classic album is that you’re not scared to recommend, and even buy the thing for people to convince them to listen. I did just that with Black Spiders. I just had to get people to listen to this CD. Sons of the North features all manner of groove-ridden gems such as St Peter and the opening Stay Down will be a show opener for years to come. Kiss Tried To Kill Me never fails to raise a smile and Blood of The Kings is simply sublime in being a track for all seasons and moods.

The band combine all of their great musical talent with a gloriously happy attitude, meeting and greeting fans, working solidly to make sure that the whole Spiders experience is a great one and this band are only going to get bigger and better in 2012.

So there you have it, Affs Album of the Year award done and deservedly won by Black Spiders. They would probably even pop over to pick up the non-existent trophy, they’re that decent a bunch of chaps. Stay tuned for more scribblings, including my Gig of the Year, Videogame of the Year, and maybe even pig by-product of the decade. Yes, it’s been one of those years!

First, we get the announcement that many were expecting regarding the latest iPhone, the 4S from Apple. No redesign outwardly, but inside is a processor faster than before, a new, improved camera and a whole host of other lovely features courtesy of iOS 5. It came with the usual Apple backlash, that after a 16 month wait this wasn’t good enough etc etc, but in reality, what would a redesign do? A bigger screen would cause a massive headache for app developers who would be forced to resize their wares, and the build quality and design of the iPhone 4 was always one that would stand the test of time. The technological changes are easily a big enough leap to keep the device ahead of the game in the mobile market and the phone has since become the most pre-ordered of Apple’s handsets.

Then came more news from Cupertino – that the founder and revolutioniser of the tech world, Steve Jobs, had died aged only 56. We’d all known that he’d been ill for some time but the news still shocked the globe. Never before had we seen such a figurehead in the relatively young computing and technology world and one who had been so visible at product launches and speeches across the planet. Jobs truly was a man of the people, and one who had an idea and the desire to make something of his life that would change millions of others’ lives forever. And he succeeded.

After such a massive blow, this week Apple seemed to have been dealt a boost, after Samsung claimed they held back the announcement of their new handset, the Nexus Prime as a mark of respect for Jobs’ passing. More likely is that they simply aren’t ready to unleash this Ice Cream Sandwich Android OS beast yet, but they truly are the main rival to Apple’s monopoly as proven by their Mobile of the Year award at the T3 Awards this week.

Another major player, RIM, have also now handed Apple a big advantage with the now-global failure of many BlackBerry services including the rioter’s favourite BlackBerry Messenger. Initially confined just to a few regions, the server issue now appears to have surfaced Stateside and if people needed convincing about the imminent iPhone 4S, then this may be the proof they were looking for.

But then came iOS5. Launching two days before the handset on which it comes as standard, the operating system has seen numerous problems as millions attempt to download it and install it on their i-devices. The ’3200 error’ is trending on Twitter and rather than having some great new features to play with this morning, users are instead left with iPhones in various states of app-deletion and recovery mode loops.

Of course, this is purely symptomatic of Apple and their success. Which other company would see this level of excitement over the release of an Operating System? No-one. The hype around iOS5 is warranted as it pretty much changes the entire way people will use their iPhones. This is proof that Apple have almost single-handedly made the impenetrable accessible and turned technology into that which can be used by anyone from grandchild to great grandparent.

And for that, I think we have one man to thank. Rest in peace Mr Jobs.

Over the years I’ve been all over the place with footy games. I started on the Spectrum with Football Manager, watching my 80s Liverpool side trounce Crewe Alexandra et al each week after some tactical dealings in the transfer market and watching the highlights of the match in 8-bit jerk-a-thon.

Next up came MatchDay 2 (I must have missed the first game) and finally I had full control over my team of stuttering melon-headed players. Not a classic, but I had a few decent rounds of the game which was probably more akin to rugby than football.

The mid-90s then saw a football revolution. FIFA 95 and 95, the isometric utopia of soccerball fun arrived and I was as happy as a pig in the proverbial. Wonder goals would go flying in, and I even created an all-black kit-wearing team that consisted entirely of Pat Nevin from one to 11. Don’t ask. But they were world beaters.

At the same time, my computer-owning friends weren’t left out with the genius of the Sensible Soccer games coming to their Amigas and Atari STs. I still have fond, fond memories of sticking a finger up at hayfever by taking my Sega Megadrive joypad to my friend’s house to play hours of Sensi World over the school summer holidays, pausing only for a quick Southern Comfort and Tango raided from his parent’s drinks cupboard (it felt like a summer-y concoction at the time).

But after these glory years, it all went a bit, well, wrong. FIFA 97 on the Sega Saturn (I had upgraded my Megadrive) introduced what can only be described as “ice-rink” physics, with David Ginola and Chris Sutton alike skidding all over the place like demented penguins. The five a side mode was still fun, but the game had lost its spark.

Then a new challenger emerged, World League Soccer. Initially tricksy controls and a tendency to crash very, very frequently (most games did on the Saturn) didn’t put me off this little gem. On going to University, we played quite a bit of WLS until other’s loans arrived and PlayStations were soon being snapped up, leading to the inevitable return of FIFA.

FIFA at University didn’t need to be a world-beater. It didn’t need to be an in-depth, hugely involving simulation. It needed to be quick to pick up and play and addictive enough to play all night with only Asda’s own Scotch and a few friends for company.

And sure enough, FIFA did just that. I think I still have the hand-scribbled league tables of Liverpool doing the business over Sheffield Wedneday, Bolton Wanderers and Man Utd on regular occasions. It didn’t matter that many of the games ended 8-7 after over-use of the through ball that was a dead cert every single time. It still brought about some amazing all-nighters and some shockingly poor essays written with bleary-eyed regret the next day.

When I left Higher Education, I didn’t really know where to turn video game-wise. I’d always stuck with Sega, but Sony, this new pretender to the throne, seemed to be making all the right noises. The Dreamcast was a thing of genius but expensive and liable to be obsolete in record time, so I sided with the newly-minted PlayStation 2 in all its black boxy beauty.

Soon after, the decision had to be made, which football game do I go for on my new console? I’d played ISS Pro on PSOne at University and found it a bit too simulation-y for my liking, so I didn’t really fancy Pro Evolution Soccer, its natural successor. But could FIFA hold a place in my heart after a few years away? I tried to love FIFA again, but alas, it wasn’t meant to be. I decided instead to see what all the fuss was about Pro Evo, and I was instantly hooked. Absolutely, this was the game I had waited ten years for (albeit full of made up player names and stadia, but I could painstakingly hand-alter them). Even after three or four sequels, the game held up strongly against the cheap and tiresome cash in of subsequent FIFAs (I kept on playing the demos just in case), and their ghetto-based “Street” series. I even tried the FIFA games out on PSP, but they were probably even worse.

Suddenly though, EA knew they’d dropped a major clanger and shipped development of FIFA off to Canada of all places, and the magic returned, just at a time when the lack of official licenses was really starting to grate on Pro Evo. I dipped back to the dark side and haven’t looked back since.

The options. The licences. The likenesses. The animations. The shots. The online multiplayer. The genius of little dinked through balls and chipped shots over the on-rushing keeper. Playing with work friends over the Internet is now like playing out those epic confrontations on Sensi World in a friend’s bedroom circa 1995, albeit with less of the Diner soundtrack and more of the responsibility of having to get up at a ridiculously early hour the next day.

But with each iteration comes that inevitability that EA will change something that could be a game-changer all over again. FIFAs 09, 10 and 11 made subtle changes, but despite that initial joy-pad throwing hissy fit, after a couple of games, it’s always been easy to get back into the swing of things.

But FIFA 12 has arrived. It’s scarily got a bit at the start which teaches you how to defend all over again, fighting against three years of experience and instinct of doing it completely differently. It’s less arcadey. It’s….not quite FIFA. It’s going to be a rough ride…

I started from Victoria Station and decided to tour the City Centre. I wasn’t going to stand around taking photos of riot damage, there are enough of those at websites you may have heard of such as bbc.co.uk and twitter.com, and as I said at the start, I wanted to find some hope amongst the carnage rather than gloating over the remnants of people’s livelihoods.

At first, it looked like a typical Wednesday morning. Walking up Thomas Street, the bars were all shut but nothing seemed out of place. Even in Manchester people don’t tend to be drinking this early. The first sign I saw of any damage was Alfred E Mutter’s pawn shop which had been attacked by rioters, the shutter bent like a T-Rex had spent a couple of minutes headbutting its way out. Then across the road, Cathedral Jewellers with presumably a shopkeeper outside filming the carnage. The shop had been largely destroyed during the riot.

The old Thomas Street Post Office also had some window damage, but generally speaking, the premises in the Northern Quarter seemed to have done a good job of closing up early and escaping major destruction in the riots.

Turning onto Oldham Street, where footage was shown of looting on the news last night, it was soon apparent that things were getting a little worse. Forbidden Planet had a couple of smashed windows, and Cash Generator had been attacked, along with BetFred. Onto Piccadilly Gardens and Kro seemed worse hit, staff and workmen cleaning up from a shattered glass door. Burger King also seemed to have suffered slightly, a sign that even looting opportunists get hungry.

Onto Market Street, and past a couple of policemen keeping watch, a fair few stores appeared to have been hit during the riots. TK Maxx, American Apparel, Tesco, Vodafone, Thomson, Thomas Cook and the Arndale itself all with that tell-tale chipboard mounted over what used to be a shop front. And of course, possibly the worst hit, Miss Selfridge, alarm still ringing and windows black with soot from the inexcusable arson that was started there last night.

In the main though, it appears that shop shutters largely worked to keep the immoral hordes at bay. Even those stores that had smashed windows, in the majority, had not been breached, presumably due to the strong construction of modern day shop front glass.

Walking around the other side of the Arndale, Size? on the bottom part of Market Street and Foot Asylum opposite the big wheel had been badly attacked, showing the looters’ penchant for getting a few pairs of cut-price trainers and presumably a new hoody or two.

Looping around to New Cathedral Street, Harvey Nichols showed signs of a smashed window, as did the Louis Vuitton entrance to Selfridges, whilst Ugg had been completely ransacked and all stock that was once upon the shelves seemed to have gone. On St Ann’s Square, FCUK had been struck, Swarovski was completely boarded up, the only satisfaction about that one being that a looter had been pictured being arrested by plain clothes officers last night on the news. Links, T-Mobile and Starbucks had also been attacked.

But where am I now? In Starbucks on St Ann’s Square. Have they closed for the day to mourn the damage and the destruction caused by an ignorant minority? No. A member of staff who wasn’t even working today had come in early to help clean up and to ensure that normality could resume as much as possible. That is how much people care about this city and about their fellow man.

And this is one of the things we can take from last night. The vast majority of people are appalled by the senseless acts. Even during the looting last night, plans were being put in place on Twitter to clean up the city, and in all honesty I don’t think they’re needed because of the efforts already made.

Don’t get me wrong, I was still shocked by what I saw last night and it was distressing to see the state of things today. But I was also amazed. I was in Manchester the morning after the city was destroyed by feral Rangers fans before, during and after the UEFA Cup Final in 2007. It was truly a scene from a zombie apocalypse movie with the streets swimming in broken glass, excrement and all manner of trash. From watching the news last night I was expecting to be swimming in rubbish and picking glass out of my shoes for the rest of the day.

But Manchester this morning is a whole different picture. Okay, so I didn’t tour all the way down King Street and Cross Street where I know other stores such as Diesel were ransacked, but largely, Manchester is relatively clean and tidy and getting on with business as usual.

What we can take from this is that people do a hell of a job against adversity in this city. Street cleaning teams are buzzing around the Centre and it looks like they have been for some time, sweeping up every last bit of damage to prepare the city for life simply going on. Police are on a few street corners and commuters and other passers-by are exchanging pleasantries with them. The Craft Market in St Ann’s Square is even going up as planned.

Last night I was ashamed of my country and what it had become. This morning, I feel only pride for those who have been undaunted by yet another attack on freedom, and who show that the good old fashioned English never-say-die attitude will always triumph over adversity.

My adopted home city has had Nazis, the IRA, Rangers ‘fans’ and now the ‘disillusioned’ underclasses trying to disrupt things for normal, decent folk. None have prevailed thus far, and I don’t think they’re going to in the future if what I have seen this morning is anything to go by.

It may not be over, but the fightback has already begun.

Dee did in fact have links to Manchester, having been appointed Warden of Christ’s College in the city by none other than Queen Elizabeth I herself, although many view this as an exile following Dee’s frowned-upon dabbles in the occult.

Dee remained in Manchester for a decade, studying at Chetham’s Library where it is rumoured he once summoned the devil; a burn mark supposedly from Satan’s hoof can still be seen on a desk there today. Albarn’s own affinity with the city stems from his time spent in the North West first debuting Gorillaz and later showcasing his first foray into opera, Monkey: Journey to the West at the MIF in 2007. It’s fitting therefore that two of Manchester’s adopted sons should come together to produce such an ambitious work.

And ambitious is only the start of it. First things first, don’t be put off because it’s an opera. Secondly, don’t feel bad if at points during the performance you’ve got little clue as to what’s going on. The whole spectacle needs to be taken in as a whole to truly appreciate its power.

Kicking off with a real live raven on stage, the opera then begins in earnest with Albarn sat on steps at the end of a long open fronted corridor. Throughout the show, this block floats up and down, and houses a band playing all forms of exotic instruments, mainly medieval style lutes and reed instruments which add an eerie backing to Albarn’s soulful croon.

Acting as puppet master to all that happens below him, Albarn remains hugely immersed in the production throughout and performs all of his guitar and vocal parts with gusto and real empathy for the plight that Dee often finds himself in.

The story progresses through Dee’s life through his days as consort to the Queen during which time he is credited in some circles as not only coming up with the whole notion of a “British Empire” but also with guiding many global voyages through his knowledge of cartography and astronomy. These scenes are played out magically with the Queen hoisted 20 feet into the air and sails fluttering in the ocean breeze. With the vastly experienced Rufus Norris at the production’s helm, it’s far from surprising that the direction is dazzling, but even so, the technological ideas used throughout the show add a very modern slant which somehow fits the period setting like a glove.

Things take a darker turn when we observe Dee cracking under his obsession with trying to summon angels through a ritual which he hoped would enable the learning of the universal language of creation. He is aided in this task by the mystical Edward Kelley who ends up being his closest confidante as well as the man who leads Dee to his furthest fall from grace. Kelley suggests to Dee that angels have told him they must share all they have, including Dee’s wife, Jane Fromond. At this point Dee’s world becomes destroyed and he becomes discredited and delusional with his life’s work.

The story is thought-provoking and confusing in equal measure just as Dee’s ideas were at the time. A disorientated audience isn’t normally a good thing, however somehow the whole experience is magical. Albarn’s brilliant, mournful vocals haunt the tale throughout and his obvious passion for the subject matter encourages the audience to really immerse themselves in the spectacle. The production itself is also excellently performed, both scary and touching in parts, and the staging of the opera with light shows, magical set changes and enthusiastic performances from the cast provide an amazing visual treat.

Reading about Dr Dee, his life was never simple or straightforward, and neither is this show. Fortunately however, Albarn and Norris have put together something that is spellbinding enough to entice a fair few people into getting to know the inimitable Dr Dee that little bit more.

But trends don’t last forever. Despite creating new Transformers in the comics in order to set up back stories which expanded the toy range, Power Rangers took over at the top of letters to Santa Claus in the mid-90s, and it looked like another childhood memory had gone into obscurity. That is until Michael Bay and his penchant for blowing things up got involved.

When the franchise-rebooting Transformers live action film was released in 2007, it was pretty much everything a fan could want. The robots and transformations were convincing and largely faithful to the Generation One comics (although some vehicle modernisation had to, and did happen). There was humour. There was a great turn from Shia LaBeouf. There was even a not dissimilar Transformers backstory, beefed up by a Government conspiracy subplot which didn’t feel out of place. Oh, and there was Megan Fox, the hottest mechanic since Mike Rutherford spent too long in his sunbed.

In 2009, Revenge of the Fallen continued the saga, adding a bit more character depth, loads more giant robots beating all shades of hell out of each other, and an even more ridiculous plot around some long lost Cybertronian wanting to destroy the sun in order to provide a new energy source for the Transformers’ home planet.

So, as we reached 2011, a new Transformers film appeared on the horizon, Dark of the Moon. Early teaser trailers showed links to the original moon landings, along with that trademark clank-clunk transformy noise. Excitement levels raised, we all waited patiently for the summer to arrive.

The story of Dark of the Moon is pretty much a combination of the first two films. Long lost Cybertronian in a bit of a coma? Check. Over the top plot to restore Cybertron to its former glory by destroying the human race? Check. Government cover up around 60s space experiments now coming back to haunt us? Check. Humans continuing to fire pop guns at giant robots despite having experienced their ineffectiveness in the previous two films? Check.

In summary, it’s revealed that the Apollo 11 mission in 1969 was actually instigated in order to investigate a crashed alien space ship (the Ark), with Neil Armstrong and the gang taking a quick detour to the other side of la luna to see what was inside.

Cut to modern day, and Optimus Prime and the Autobots have an alliance with US military forces and help out across the globe to try and keep the Earth nice and peaceful. On investigating a potential Decepticon sighting at Chernobyl, Prime realises that he should probably go and recover some cutting-edge Cybertronian technology that was on the Ark before it falls into the wrong hands. Sure enough, the “Pillars” on board the ship are part of a plan to return Cybertron to its former glory whether the rest of the Universe survives or not.

It’s a decent plot that doesn’t try to overcomplicate things, adds the G1 “Ark” story (admittedly with some differences) and also offers an excuse to get most of the original cast back together (Sam is trying to get a job, his parents come to visit, later he needs the help of Lennox and the rest of the old NEST team to save the day).

It’s also nice to see Bay continue to gradually introduce classic Transformers, (Shockwave! Laserbeak!) and some that have only had fleeting appearances get some more screentime this time out (Soundwave, although sadly not in classic 80s boom-box form).

Throughout the film though, you can’t help but feel that something is missing. In the previous movies, Prime, Megatron, Jazz, Bumblebee and others have all had limbs and more forcibly amputated in their battles with each other, and yet they always seem to come back for more punishment, so you never really feel that there is any danger of anyone getting permanently sent to the great rust bucket in the sky. This doesn’t stop Bay killing off a fair few classic characters, but you can 99% guarantee they’ll be back for the next installment.

The film also seems to miss Megan Fox. I know what you’re thinking, that it only misses her due to her previous form with regards slow motion chest-related action, but in all honesty, Sam’s new love interest Carly Spencer (played by Brit model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley) is far too weak to give some of her lines the kudos they need.

There also seems to be some inconsistency with the effort put into how the Transformers look and act. As with the previous two films, the Autobots tend to be more colourful and distinctive whilst the Decepticons can easily be confused in hectic battle sequences as they all seem to be relatively generic grey metal shapes and pointy teeth.

The relationships between the robot characters don’t seem to have changed much either, and in fact the original cartoon gives more character to some of them. The films seem to continue to rely on the mutual hatred between Megatron and Starscream rather than exploring Soundwave’s unswerving loyalty or the Autobot’s different opinions on the worth of humans which used to throw up some morality in the original series.

But for all the niggles and nit-picking, what do people really go to a Transformers movie to see? That’s right, giant robots ripping each other’s limbs off in a series of car-to-robot-to-helicopter-to-robot scraps the likes of which haven’t been seen since this kid’s bedroom circa 1987.

Dark of the Moon certainly takes the franchise to the next logical level whilst also providing some closure to key plot arcs that have spanned the past five years, presumably setting up a reboot in three or four years with some new cast and crew onboard.

Overlong? Probably. Best taken with a pinch of salt? Completely. Most importantly, great fun for all the family? Definitely. An intelligent enough blockbuster that showcases classic, simple storytelling alongside big dumb fun, with enough nods to nostalgia to keep new and old fans happy throughout.

Having seen two 3D films in two days (Green Lantern and Transformers: Dark of the Moon), and with the imminent release of the world’s first 3D mobile, the LG Optimus 3D I’m really starting to wonder if this is one technology too far. Yes, the world in which we live is not as flat as the screens we are constantly watching and in movies, the 3D effect can sometimes add an extra layer of immersion, but 3D has already proven to have its drawbacks.

1) You end up looking like a bit of an idiot. Yes, that’s right, apart from the Nintendo 3DS and the aforementioned new LG handset, 3D is generally viewed using a pair of 3D specs, the likes of which wouldn’t have looked out of place in late 80s Star Trek. Sitting in your living room wearing these is always going to make you feel a little silly, especially when you forget to take them off to answer the door to the Avon lady.

2) Autostereoscopic 3D (the 3DS etc) has to be viewed from a very specific direction to actually work, and has been reported to cause a few headaches after prolonged exposure. I’m not one to support a scaremongering ‘technology’s bad’ story such as this usually, but surely this one can’t be good for our kids.

3) The 3D effect of movies, sports and TV is largely pointless. Having watched football in 3D, the general result was a headache, albeit with a few good camera shots of the crowd which added real depth. But who watches football to look at the crowd? Similarly, whenever a film tries to put extra effort into very obviously ‘directed for 3D’ scenes, the result often feels forced. The Final Destination, I’m looking at you.

4) It’s pricey. Not only do additional pairs of 3D glasses for home use cost in the region of £100, buying films in 3D and the TVs and Blu-ray players to view them on can soon put a major dent in the bank balance of us normal folk.

3D televisions will obviously come down in price and be more affordable to the average family in the next couple of years, and the PS3 offers a cut-price 3D media player, but is 3D the game-changer that people are predicting or could it go the way of Betmax and HD-DVD before it? It’s gotten to a stage now where roughly 60% of new film releases are also watchable in 3D, however appetite of the cinema-going public isn’t necessarily matching this growth, with box office takings for the 3D version of the latest Pirates of the Caribbean film accounting for only 38% of its total revenue in the US.

Don’t get me wrong, our viewing pleasure can be improved and HD was a revelation. The difference to anyone with even half decent eyesight was staggering, but 3D promises things will jump out at you to add even more to your optical experience and it isn’t always the case.

The clue to the success or failure of 3D could lie in its origins. Let’s not forget this is far from new technology, and indeed the first 3D film process was patented in the late 1890s. A 3D image of Queen Victoria was even on display at the Great Exhibition in 1851. So why haven’t things moved on that much in over 150 years?

One of the reasons could be the perception of 3D being a gimmick. I loved seeing comics and photos in red/green anaglyph 3D in the 80s but it didn’t mean I wanted to watch all of Jaws 3D bathed in a mysterious multicoloured glow. Similarly, I haven’t bought a 3D TV due to not wanting to give my cat something else to chew on.

The crux of the matter is this; 3D is only possible by in some way making our viewing less comfortable. Watching TV or a film is, and should always be effortless. You sit there passively watching a screen and things happen in front of you. Having to charge up your special specs beforehand just adds a level of complexity, and I’d argue it’s one that we don’t necessarily need. Here’s to the wireless.